just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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