nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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