I showed him my bush... on skype.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
