just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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