I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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