You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
