If i come over, it means nothing
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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