I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
