I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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