THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
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You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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