new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You need a sexual gate keeper
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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