You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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