i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
