i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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