do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize