Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
