so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
