Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
