he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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