Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize