Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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