Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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