I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
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Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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