His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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