I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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