Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
