We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
