I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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