This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
