So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
