Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
