You work out of a Hotel?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
