So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
