great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
