Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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