i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
