oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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