Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
