At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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