she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
