two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
