Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
