I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
