Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize