jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
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MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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