I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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