standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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