At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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