We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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