I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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