Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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