Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

Fav 40 1095 10943
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

Fav 17 6200 1628
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(251): View more from Alabama

As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.

Fav 33 10852 1735
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.

Fav 15 3226 1263
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(772): View more from Florida

A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.

Fav 3 1209 1648
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

Fav 2 964 1476
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time

Fav 4 716 1445
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?

Fav 2 881 555
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.

Fav 0 48 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT