Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Can I come over?

  (786): View more from Florida

  Can't... I'm at class right now.

  (305): View more from Florida

  No your not

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm outside by your car.

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  (305): Can I come over? (786): Can't... I'm at class right now. (305): No your not (305): I'm outside by your car. http://tfl.nu/le7d
  Replies (21) Good night (888) Bad night (2193)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

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  (936): Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas.... http://tfl.nu/nx5u
  Replies (16) Good night (875) Bad night (5321)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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  (202): Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion (202): He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction http://tfl.nu/lcwv
  Replies (60) Good night (861) Bad night (5384)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

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  (817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz
  Replies (12) Good night (1573) Bad night (5492)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.

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  (516): I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick. http://tfl.nu/gzhw
  Replies (15) Good night (4711) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  (815): I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night http://tfl.nu/p9mu
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (2509)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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  (519): I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex. http://tfl.nu/xdk5
  Replies (11) Good night (4276) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.

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  (501): It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/crm3
  Replies (4) Good night (2077) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?

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  (817): The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen? http://tfl.nu/1u3n
  Replies (8) Good night (775) Bad night (2672)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.

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  (740): Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/wkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (1060) Bad night (2154)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.

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  (404): Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing. http://tfl.nu/acec
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Playing nyquil pong with a cat again

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  (931): Playing nyquil pong with a cat again http://tfl.nu/9ic0
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.

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  (201): It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night. http://tfl.nu/1gt9
  Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

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  (250): He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea http://tfl.nu/7hkj
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  May the power of my ass compel you!!

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  (305): May the power of my ass compel you!! http://tfl.nu/muqb
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (158)

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