I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky