Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.

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  (515): Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs. (402): but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs. http://tfl.nu/7170
  Replies (9) Good night (3814) Bad night (763)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  it's love

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  (937): she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat. (1-937): it's love http://tfl.nu/getj
  Replies (16) Good night (4751) Bad night (846)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on

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  (847): cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on http://tfl.nu/ommd
  Replies (31) Good night (4127) Bad night (1536)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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  (970): I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower. http://tfl.nu/95p5
  Replies (8) Good night (3269) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.

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  (859): we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/uye4
  Replies (5) Good night (2273) Bad night (925)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.

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  (413): They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket. http://tfl.nu/y613
  Replies (23) Good night (4732) Bad night (2528)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.

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  (540): Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man. http://tfl.nu/q2i0
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (1334)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1603) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN

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  (978): Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN http://tfl.nu/dg4w
  Replies (5) Good night (2489) Bad night (609)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?

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  (908): my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"? http://tfl.nu/76qz
  Replies (11) Good night (1369) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.

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  (916): Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again. http://tfl.nu/rten
  Replies (8) Good night (1415) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.

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  (415): Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx. http://tfl.nu/4yiy
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

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  (206): My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating http://tfl.nu/ns48
  Replies (2) Good night (1019) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real

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  (973): I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real http://tfl.nu/poa7
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (526)

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