In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip