Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.