I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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