a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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