saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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