um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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