I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
