I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
