you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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