**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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